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CAROL’S CORNER – http://www.greeleygazette.com

LOVING FATHERS ARE NEEDED IN THE HOME

By:  Carol Clemans

The Bible is the greatest ‘handbook’ of instruction that exists in the world.  It gives a plan for every aspect of our lives. In Ephesians 6: 1 – 4, there is a blueprint for children’s conduct and fathers’ responsibilities. NLT – “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. ‘Honor your father and mother.’ This is the first commandment with a promise: if you honor your father and mother, ‘things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

We want our children to honor us, but the question is, “Do we act honorable?”

As parents, we must behave ourselves wisely before our children and earn their respect and honor.  We can’t preach, “You must honor me!” and then act like the devil. Our best teacher is our example.

I appreciate Apostle Paul’s direct address to fathers. Many children today carry a lot of anger because of the harsh, unloving way their fathers treat them. Many times it is a dysfunction passed to the third or fourth generation. Notice the instruction was “do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.”  Fathers are to treat their children as our heavenly Father treats us. He (God) is gentle, loving, caring, kind and admonishes us without hostility.  That is the example fathers are to follow.  Fathers are the first ‘god with skin on’ that children will know. The birth fathers’ actions and attitudes will have a dramatic effect on how children view their heavenly Father.

Pease, fathers, be loving, caring and kind to your children and they will honor you. Discipline in love not anger. Be firm and tender at the same time. With God’s help it is possible to do.

Carol Clemans is a Cert. Pastoral Counselor/Christian Life Coach/speaker. She provides nationwide counseling by phone & web cam – http://www.carolclemans.org – live teaching on http://www.altonline.org – audio archives.

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Carol’s Corner – HOPE

PLEASE, DO NOT JUMP INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP

BY: Carol Clemans

The wounded heart can be very dangerous in decision-making.  The wounded heart can be both in the betrayed and/or the betrayer. The betrayed is feeling hurt and lonely. They feel it will be impossible to be ‘happy’ again.  The betrayer pursues the new relationship to try and cover up the guilt feelings for what they have done.

I’m speaking to all people involved in broken relationships. STOP!  SLOW DOWN!  First, you must remind yourself that you first accountability is to God. I’m not going to get in to the theology of each divorce situation, but you must be closely involved with your pastor and the Word of God.

Both partners in a broken relationship need to take a personal assessment through God’s perspective about their own responsibility in the marriage.  If you immediately jump into a new relationship, you will carry all the dysfunction of the old relationship right in to the new one.  The ‘honeymoon phase’ of the new relationship will seem sweet and fulfilling, but that ‘new love’ feeling always wears down to day to day living and then painful reality sits in.

Even if there is no doubt that you were betrayed and your spouse committed adultery and wants a divorce, you should still not be looking for a new relationship. You need to be seeking the counsel and wisdom of God.  If you have children, your first allegiance is to raising them in the fear and admonition of the Lord and not seeking your own selfish fulfillment. When one allows their selfish emotions to rule their actions, they will be in trouble with God.

If your spouse is unfaithful, that does not give you the right to start looking for a new partner, immediately before or after the divorce.  That would leave no question that you would be acting out of a wounded heart and that does not make for healthy decisions.

I must say again, your first accountability is to God.  Seek godly wisdom and counsel.  Time is your friend.  When you are willing to stand still and seek godly guidance, you will be proactive in your decision-making and will not create new emotional pain for yourself. STOP! PRAY! Seek God’s wisdom and your heart will heal.

Carol Clemans is a Cert. Pastoral Counselor/Christian Life Coach/conference speaker. She provides nationwide counseling by phone & web cam (636) 448-0121. Hear her teach at http://www.altonline.org Sunday adult class for Pastor Dieter Skowron, Johnstown, CO. She writes monthly for the PERSPECTIVES magazine, Indiana Bible College. Carol writes weekly for http://www.greeleygazette.com (Carol’s Corner). Teaching CD’s available through http://www.carolclemans.org Email: carol@carolclemans.org

Carol is founder of LIFE ENRICHMENT MINISTRIES, INC. (501c3), 1437 N. Denver Ave. Ste. 251, Loveland, CO 80538. LEM, Inc is accepting donations toward a counseling retreat facility for wounded ministry families and others.

Written for PERSPECTIVES

I will behave wisely! Behavior is a choice!

Carol Clemans

We who have been in church for a while know that we all are accountable to God for every word and action.  Yet, there seems to be a deep chasm between knowing and doing.  In a supposed Christian home, abuse can happen from husband to wife and parents to children.  It is heartbreaking!!  How can we say we are Christian and act like the devil at home?  First, this creates a ‘double bind’ message for children.  They hear at church how to be Christ like and then they experience abusive actions at home. What they live is their reality. Actions do speak louder than words!

Psalm 101: 2 says, “I will behave wisely in a perfect way. — I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. Vs 3 – I will set nothing wicked before my eyes.”  These are statements of choice, “I will – I will – I will!”  Our behavior is our own choice.  We cannot blame another person for how we choose to act.  The word perfect means blameless in this passage. How we treat each other in the home is important to God. We need to make choices to be kind, respectful, good, faithful, temperate and gentle. Then we will have love, joy and peace in our family relationships. This is the Fruit of the Spirit in action!!

Our Christian homes should be havens of peace. No matter the stress or problems in life, I have no excuse to not ‘behave wisely in a perfect way and with a perfect heart within my house.’  Our homes are the first church our children experience.  We need to be ‘God-real’ in our homes. (Articles: http://www.ladiesministries.org – HOPE  section; http://www.greeleygazette.com – Carol’s Corner. Teaching: http://www.altonline.org – audio archives).

Carol Clemans is a Cert. Pastoral Counselor/Christian Life Coach. Provides counseling nationwide by phone & web cam (636) 448-0121. Teaches at churches/conferences/retreats. Provides teaching/counseling ministry for Pastor Dieter Skowron in Johnstown, CO. For teaching CD’s: http://www.carolclemans.org

Carol’s Corner – http://www.greeleygazette.com

WE ARE STANDING IN THE NEED OF PRAYER

By: Carol Clemans

Every day as I watch the current events of our nation and the world, I feel very strongly that we, the people who believe in God, need to cry out to our Creator for mercy on America.  Our national leaders are not making wise decisions for our nation or for what is happening worldwide.  We need to pray and make our ‘voices’ heard through the voting process this fall. When we have a President who will not honor the National Day of Prayer and, yet, celebrates the Ramadan with a White House Dinner, our nation is in trouble.

We are a nation that has always stood side by side with Israel, but our President wavers in this area.  The Bible lets us know whoever blesses Israel will be blessed and whoever curses Israel will be cursed.  Our President is standing on a balance beam that is leaning away from Israel and is making ‘friends’ with the Muslim world bowing to their leaders.

Prayer changes things. All believers in God must unite in prayer asking God to work out His perfect will for America. God puts up and He takes down.  We must have God-fearing leaders in this great country. We are living in the ‘end times.’ God is allowing certain events to happen and knowledge to increase to fulfill prophesy, but we must never stop praying for His mercy on America.

America is not only in financial chaos, but it is in spiritual chaos.  Recently, I saw pictures of groups of people stopping the traffic in New York City in several places by bowing in the streets to pray to their god. Yet, we cannot pray in our public schools. Something is drastically wrong with our freedoms. There is only one God and He is all-powerful. He wants us to call out to Him in the time of trouble and He will answer.

Carol Clemans is a Cert. Pastoral Counselor/Christian Life Coach/seminar speaker. She provides counseling nationwide by phone & web cam – http://www.carolclemans.org


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