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CAROL’S CORNER – (Written for http://www.greeleygazette.com)

CHILDREN ARE SPECIAL GIFTS FROM GOD

By Carol Clemans

When God created Adam, He breathed into Adam the breath of life; and man became a living soul. At the birth of every child, there is the suspenseful moment waiting for the baby to take that first breath. When the cry comes with that breath, everyone rejoices.  This is only the beginning of parenting.  This precious gift from God needs to be loved, cared for and nurtured in body, soul and spirit.

Children need unconditional love. This is a love that is not based on performance.

Children need a lot of time and attention from their parents. It’s not about ‘quality time’ once in a while; they need parental time and love consistently in daily life.  Children want to hear the words, “I love you.”  They need hugs and kisses. Love must be demonstrated and verbalized from both father and mother.

Children learn character by watching and emulating their parents.  They learn self-control by their parents handling anger in a healthy way. Children learn respect by the respect their parents give to each other. They learn to be truthful by the example of their parents being honest in the home and with others.

Children learn about God from their parent’s love and respect for God. Teaching a child about God will be the determining factor of where they will spend eternity. From Adam until now, every child born has a living soul.  God gives us the gift of a child and it’s our responsibility to train them in the way they should go.

God instructs parents to teach their children when they get up in the morning, when they walk along the way, when they sit down and when they go to bed. We must make godly principles come alive in practical everyday living experiences. Children are our gifts from God. Let’s give them the gift of knowing God by our example.

Carol Clemans is a Certified Pastoral Counselor, Christian Life Coach & seminar speaker. She provides nationwide phone & web cam counseling – http://www.carolclemans.org

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REFLECT THE GLORY OF GOD IN SINGLE PARENTING

Single parenting is the hardest job on the face of the earth. God’s creation design in the beginning was for every child to have his birth mother and father in his life until he is grown and goes into his own adult life. God gave Adam and Eve the gift of choice. The selfish choice that Adam and Eve made brought sin, sickness, death and all evil in to the human race.

That same selfishness is what causes divorce to happen today. One parent (spouse) makes the selfish decision to abandon their commitment before God, man and to his/her spouse and walks away to satisfy their own selfishness. Parents are the first ‘god-like’ representatives to children.  When one parent leaves the family, this causes a major distrust that will be transferred to the children’s feelings toward God.  As a divorced parent, you now are doubly responsible to live before your children in a manner that reflects the glory of God.

2 Corinthians 3: 18 NLT says, “So all of us who have had the veil removed (the veil was rent in two at the death of Jesus) can see and reflect the glory of the Lord.  And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”  As a single parent, you must reflect the glory of God before your children.  You may ask, “What does this mean?”

You must totally depend on God for all your needs and in handling all situations. God promised us if we need wisdom, we are to ask Him in faith believing and He will give it to us.  No matter what you are facing as a single parent, seek God’s wisdom.  Take time to pray.  Ask friends to be prayer partners with you in God giving you wisdom in being a godly single parent.  In the middle of a stressful situation with your children, STOP and say to your children, “We are going to pray right now and ask God to help us in this situation.”  Take their hands and lead in a simple prayer for God’s guidance, wisdom and provision.  As your children see you daily making God a part of everything that happens in your life, you will be teaching them how to live for God and be reflecting His glory.

In your personal life, do not sin before the Lord with any sexual impurities.  I’ve witnessed single parents in the church, having an affair and thinking no one knows.  Be sure your sins will find you out. You need to surrender every part of your life to the Lord. Don’t be looking quickly to replace your spouse.  You need to focus on raising your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord and allow God to do His perfect work about a future spouse for you.  There is a great truth that all should know, until we feel complete and whole as a child of God being single, we will not be a healthy spouse spiritually, emotionally or relationally.

Our value is not based on being married; our value comes from God, not from our role in life.  The more you understand your role as a child of God, the more you will reflect the glory of God in your single parenting.  If you desire love, joy and peace to reign in your single parent home, then be longsuffering, be gentle, be faithful to God, demonstrate self-control, be patient, and allow goodness to be in your attitude and spirit. Your children are watching your every action.  It’s your daily life that will teach them how to start reflecting the glory of God in their lives.

Do not allow the devil to put shame in your thoughts because you are a single parent.  You cannot be responsible for the choice of a spouse who has turned his back on God and walked in to his selfish lifestyle.  The wayward spouse will answer to God in His timing.

Take ownership of your victory in the Lord. God transforms us by our renewing our mind through His Word. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these (other) things will be added unto you!  Ask for God’s wisdom daily in how to reflect His glory and He will give you strength to walk in victory.

NOTE: Carol Clemans is a Certified Pastoral Counselor/Bible seminar teacher/Christian Life Coach/author. She provides a nationwide counseling ministry by phone and web cam – (636) 448-0121. Carol teaches for churches/conference/retreats nationwide.  She and her husband, Rev. Harold Clemans, live in Loveland, CO. Carol provides a teaching/counseling ministry for Pastor Dieter Skowron, Johnstown, CO – http://www.altonline.org. She is president of LIFE ENRICHMENT MINISTRIES, INC. (501c3), 1437 N. Denver Avenue, Ste. 251, Loveland, CO 80538. Pastors Daniel Batchelor and Todd Gaddy are on her Board of Directors. Go to: http://www.carolclemans.org

for info and teaching CD’s. Email: carol@carolclemans.org

© Carol Clemans – May 2010

GOD’S WORD TRANSFORMS ‘STINKIN THINKIN’

The way we think and feel about our lives can be our worst enemy.  The scripture lets us know that what we think about ourselves in our hearts is what we are. Sometimes our thoughts can be based on our hurtful interpretation about the facts of our lives.  When we come to know the Lord in the power of salvation, He takes our sins away but He does not remove our feelings or emotions. That’s when we need to get into God’s Word and ‘be transformed by renewing our minds.’

How we are treated as young children growing up greatly affects they way we think about ourselves as adults.  If a parent abandons a child through divorce, or dropping them off at child protection services, or if a child is physically, verbally or emotionally abused, etc., there are very loud ‘unspoken’ messages that the child internalizes.  The child almost always takes the blame for what their parent chooses to do. The internal ‘unspoken’ messages are these:  “I’m unlovable, I’m bad, Mommy/Daddy left because of me, I made this happen, It’s all my fault”.  These internal messages turn in to self-hatred and/or low self-worth.

In my 18 years of counseling after I have ‘connected’ with the counselee, I often ask, “Do you love_____?” I put their name in the blank. Most of the time the counselee is hesitant on how to respond.  When I explain why I’m asking, the usual response is, “I’ve never really loved myself.”  I will then continue to help them understand that their negative response to the ‘love’ question is based on their distorted thinking about what happened in their lives. Many ‘double the trouble’ in their negative thinking because they have made harmful choices in their adult life acting out from their pain which has added to their emotional painful internal messages.

Jesus came as Saviour to the world, not only to save us from our sins, but to heal broken hearts and set the captives free from their ‘stinkin thinkin.’  We must replace the negative internal messages with God’s truth about us. Romans 8: 1 & 2 – NKJ says, “There is therefore NOW NO (caps mine) condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.”

With God’s truth, we can say, “I refuse to allow the pain of my past to define who I am now in Christ!” I Cor. 6: 19 & 20 tells us we have been bought with a price and we belong to God!  God loved us so much that He came down in a human body and was willing to be crucified for our sins.  I Peter 2: 9 says, “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”  Chosen means ‘one picked out from among the larger group for special service or privileges.’ Jesus said, “Many are called, but few are chosen.” – Matthew 20: 16.  This again is what you must say; “I refuse to allow the pain of my past to define who I am now in Christ!” We can change the way we think by replacing our ‘old messages’ about self with God’s truth.

Ephesians 2:20 says, “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”  Workmanship means God’s poetry and His work of art. God wants you to grasp and take ownership of His truth – you are not your past, but NOW IN CHRIST you are God’s special treasure!  Your value and worth comes from the fact that God created you and loved you so much that He died to redeem you to Himself!!  Your past is under the blood of Jesus Christ.  You are a new creation in Him!  Allow these new truths to penetrate your heart and soul and be transformed by renewing your mind with His truth!

Note:  Carol Clemans is a Certified Pastoral Counselor, Christian Life Coach and seminar speaker. She provides nationwide counseling by phone & web cam (636) 448-0121.  Carol speaks for churches, conferences and retreats. She and her husband, Rev. Harold Clemans, attend Pastor Dieter Skowron’s church in Johnstown, CO., where Carol provides a teaching and counseling ministry.

Carol is president of LIFE ENRICHMENT MINISTRIES, INC. (501c3). Pastors Daniel Batchelor and Todd Gaddy are on her Board of Directors. She is believing God for funding for a counseling retreat facility in Loveland, CO where ministry families and others could come for intense counseling in times of crisis.

Carol writes weekly for http://www.greeleygazette.com, a local newspaper where she shares her godly views. She also writes monthly for the PERSPECTIVES from Indiana Bible College. You may follow her on Twitter – (CarolsCorner) & on Facebook: Carol Theobald Clemans. Go to: http://www.carolclemans.org for detailed bio, additional articles and teaching CD’s.

It is Carol’s heartbeat to teach, write & counsel from God’s Word to help others grow and heal spiritually, emotionally and relationally. Email:carol@carolclemans.org

(c) Carol Clemans – June 2010

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